OP-ED: 3 AM Conversations With Christian Nationalism
by Karolina Newcombe, Washington County Democrats Communications Committee Chair
If you don’t want to get pregnant, you should keep your legs closed.
Fine. I’ll keep my legs closed.
Why do you hate men so much? You’re going to die alone with your wine and your cats.
I don’t hate men. I’m just trying not to get pregnant.
It’s your fault that we don’t get enough sex. It’s your fault that we have to turn into angry, violent incels.
What? How is that my fault?
Don’t get so emotional about it. You snowflakes always get triggered.
Well, what happens if I do get pregnant?
I suppose you will have to make the difficult choice to have the baby. But don’t worry–it will turn out to be a beautiful blessing in the end!
Okay…what if I only have sex with women? Maybe that way I will never need an abortion.
Yeah…now you’re definitely going to hell.
Why? I’m a free American making responsible choices. Isn’t that what we’re all about–freedom?
Not THAT kind of freedom.
What kind of freedom, then?
We offer you the freedom to live up to your fullest potential as a woman, as a wife and mother. The one true way for you to find happiness.
I’ve known plenty of married mothers who were not happy.
They’re just not very good at practicing gratitude. That’s not our problem. They need to learn to be grateful for what they’ve been given.
What if they didn’t want this? What if they didn’t want children?
If they didn’t want children, they should’ve kept their legs closed…
I need a drink.
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