OP-ED: Support Your Local Jedi For District Attorney!
That’s right! It’s time to take up your lightsaber, hop into your X-Wing, and tell your furry co-pilot to “punch it!” Because the last movie ended with the Evil Empire on top, and now, our whole galaxy is at stake. “What galaxy,” you may ask? Well, this time it’s not the fictional one far, far away, but the real one close at hand that we call Washington County. Brian Decker has donned his Jedi robes, but he can’t win without the help of a whole rebellion behind him.
Now, it’s a truism of politics that it’s at the local level where the people hold the real power. However, it is also true that people are often unaware of that, and thus the Dark Side repeatedly triumphs in off-year elections. Case in point, our 2018 race for District Attorney which we lost by a landslide, has yielded terrible consequences. Back then, the Dark Side poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into the race, and installed Kevin Barton as our DA. And as a result of that defeat, justice has been skewed harshly to the right, and our friends and neighbors have suffered grievously.
The mentally ill, the homeless, and the working poor now overflow the Washington County Jail. The Public Defender’s Office cannot keep up with the caseload since every misdemeanor, no matter how weak, gets prosecuted to the hilt. Concepts such as innocence or guilt mean nothing to Kevin Barton. Instead, it’s how well connected you are, or how much can you pay that determines “justice” in this star system. And Lord Barton has proven quite enthusiastic to go after minorities and the LGBTQ community while tossing MAGA fish back into the sea. Yet, at the same time, Barton was very reluctant to prosecute a deputy sheriff who beat a man in our jail to the point of brain damage over a rude remark.
Truly, our criminal justice system has gone over to the Dark Side.
And, unless we band together, we can expect the Stormtroopers to keep on coming after our friends and associates. Phil Knight, our local Dark Lord of the Sith, has recently donated $300,000 to re-elect Kevin Barton. And that money is being spent in typical Evil Empire fashion, on a fear campaign. Darth Barton is attempting to terrify Washington County voters with tales of Portland “thugs” (his term for people of color) overrunning the suburbs. It’s like he’s building a second Death Star, and hoping that fear will keep the locals in line.
And the scary part is, Barton’s evil plan just might work.
But, in an analysis of the plans, a weakness has been found! Remember, this is a local election, and it is here where people hold the real power—if only we choose to use it! And, people, this is no time to sit in the thereafter and quietly munch your popcorn. Rather, if we are to see a happy ending, we all must jump onto the screen and participate in the action. Brian Decker is well skilled in the arts of the law, and is exactly the kind of scruffy-looking nerf-herder we need for our new DA. Our hidden Rebel Base is at 140 NE 3rd Ave, Hillsboro, a quick drive by land-speeder. Decker’s campaign can also be contacted online at https://deckerforda.com/ . And make no mistake, to counter $300K in Dark Money, we need you on the Light Side of the Force.
So PLEASE, volunteer, spread posts on social media, talk to your friends and neighbors, put a sign in your yard, or just make some calls.
Every little bit matters, and your help is urgently needed. Kevin Barton’s Death Star has our planet in range. And every minority, poor person, and member of the LGBTQ community is in his sights. Now is the time to join the brave rebel band, support Brian Decker, and may the Force be with you!
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