OP-ED: Alternative Universe
By Clayton Callahan, WashCo Dems Communications Team
Three years into his presidency, tRump supporters still insist that he’s America’s Greatest President. This, of course, leaves the rest of us rather slack jawed. When it’s pointed out just how terrible things have gotten under his watch, tRump’s fans often say, “Well, how could he have done any better?”
Well, folks, I just happen to be a science fiction author. As such, I regularly deal in unreal things such as time travel, alternative universes, and fantasy futures. So, let’s take a journey of the imagination, shall we? Because, somewhere across the great galactic spans, there may be an Alternative Trump. And on a distant planet much like Earth, Alternative Trump is everything our tRrump claims to be; promise keeper, patriot, and genius deal maker who understands the system better than anybody.
If tRump were all that he pretends, his first four years would probably have looked something like this…
After Alternative Trump wins the 2016 election in an electoral college victory, he offers olive branches to Democratic leaders. After all, this Trump knows he’ll need their cooperation to get things done once in office. Many refuse and do so publicly, and the media applauds every insult they hurl. However, this President Elect takes all that in stride as he quietly cultivates back-door relationships just the same.
When demonstrators protest his victory, Alternative Trump requests for supporters to show humility and for opponents to give him a chance. This goes a long way to heal the nation after a divisive campaign season.
On January 20th, 2017, Alternative Trump gives an encouraging acceptance speech. It’s an uplifting invitation for all Americans to come together for the great tasks ahead. True, the crowds could have been larger, but this Trump knows that there are still many people to win over and resolves to be patient.
Soon, Congress holds hearings for his Secretaries of State, Defense, Treasury, ect. Although some Democrats delight in taunting the appointees, all are obviously qualified. Alternative Trump’s Secretary of Education even draws praise from Elizabeth Warren for his lifetime of public school service. Each appointee, naturally, performs their duties without a whiff of scandal or corruption over the next few years.
Once seated in the White House, Alternative Trump proposes the health care initiative that he promised. Although criticized for giving no details of the plan before assuming office, this Trump offers better coverage than Obamacare at a fraction of the cost. Apparently, he knew exactly how complicated healthcare was and his plan covers every angle.
Of course, this was only one of the many great pieces of legislation Alternative Trump proposes. His Immigration Reform Act effectively ended illegal immigration, and Mexico happily paid for the wall. Sure, most Democrats resist his ideas, but even the naysayers have to grudgingly admit his plans are well thought out and highly effective.
On the international front, this master deal maker takes America to new heights of world respect. Alliances are strengthened, and his New Iran Nuclear Deal proves a model for Middle East peace. But sadly, even Alternative Trump does not predict the deadly spread of COVID-19.
To be sure, most of the world is also caught off guard by the virus. Fortunately, this Trump acts swiftly when first briefed in January, 2020. His public statements at the time are straight forward and consistent. Thus, the public is well prepared for the pandemic when it hits. At the same time, Alternative Trump rallies the vast powers of the federal government to avert the worst.
State governments, that fear they’ll be on their own find a powerful ally in the White House. Resources are allocated efficiently, like you’d expect from a business man of his caliber. And even Rachel Maddow admits this Trump’s leadership keeps our death tole lower than any other nations.
Yet, in the midst of the pandemic, other problems sadly arise. Complaints of police brutality spark nationwide marches, many of which devolved into riots. Fortunately, Alternative Trump invited Colin Kaepernick to the White House to discuss the matter way back in the summer of 2018. Building on that trust, his calm words soothe the nation. Also, this Trump’s stalled Police Reform Bill is quickly approved by Congress. Thus, with the problem under control, the riots soon end and order is restored. When a reporter points out that the riots were all in “Democrat cities,” Alternative Trump replies, “What difference does that make? We’re all Americans.”
True, even with all these successes, the main stream media and deep government bureaucracy still resist. But Alternative Trump is a smart guy with a pretty good brain, and he sees them coming. At every turn he side-steps opponents while continuing to make America great again.
Now, who wouldn’t want to give a man like that another four years?
Too bad for us, we don’t live in that alternative universe. And after the slew of missed opportunities and obvious screw-ups it’s clear “America’s Greatest President” our tRump is not. Rather, his actions have proven him to be an incompetent, lying, blowhard who’s fumbling around has done real damage to this country.
So, if the rest of us are going to have any future at all, our Donald tRump has to go.
Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you.
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